In today’s episode Wendy & Terry are discussing power struggles and how to prevent them between parents & their children. Power struggles are never fun to deal with, but just part of life when you’re raising kids! They happen when the parent tries to get their child to do something & the child refuses.

The classic “No I won’t & you can’t make me” is something every parent hears many times & is a classic example of a power struggle. Having the skills to prevent power struggles is much easier than dealing with them head on, so being well versed in prevention strategies is so beneficial and significantly helps bring more joy, peace & connection to families.

Specifically, Wendy & Terry talk about three different strategies parents can use to prevent power struggles with their littles:

1. Seek first to understand when push back and resistance occur
   • Humble yourself & allow for a mindset shift
   • Before assuming, ask questions
   • Curiosity –> Empathy –> Creativity
   • Help child express how they feel, what they want to do, & how to get their needs met in a healthy way – no fighting needed
2. Make the 4-step firm & kind process a language in your home
   1. Make proactive agreements
      • Instead of using compliance statements, explain why your rules exist.
      • Then, ask for your child to make an agreement to the boundary (remind them that you need their help, so the agreement is like teamwork).
      • Finally, have the child restate the agreement.
   2. Use empathy when your kids start to push back
      • “No wonder why you want that candy, it’s right at your level AND what was our agreement?”
   3. Have them restate the agreement that they’ve been a part of making
   4. Give them choices
      • Thank them for remembering the agreement and then give them two choices: “Would you like to push the cart, or do you want to ride in the front?”
3. Let your kids know how they are valuable to your family
   • Everyday look for ways that your child contributes to the family, inspires others in the family, and adds value to your family as a whole
   • Thank your child for who they are & the ways they contribute to the family

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Fresh Start Family Online
• Fresh Start Experience – parenting education & support program
  

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