Episode 36: Time-Outs vs. Self-Calming Breaks

by | December 20, 2019

Episode 36: Time-Outs vs. Self-Calming Breaks

by | December 20, 2019

The Fresh Start Family Show
The Fresh Start Family Show
Episode 36: Time-Outs vs. Self-Calming Breaks
Loading
/

LISTEN & SUBSCRIBE

On today’s episode, Wendy & Terry discuss the why & the how behind taking a break from using time-outs in our households, and instead, teaching & modeling how to implement self-calming breaks. Time-outs are a forced isolation that do not actually teach a child how to calm themselves down. Self calming breaks give kids practical tools to take care of their needs in healthy & appropriate ways. They’re all about coaching our kiddos to feel their emotions and deal with them from a place of integrity.

Specifically, Wendy & Terry touch on three elements of this idea that will offer practical tools & encouragement when it comes making the switch from time-outs to self-calming breaks:

  1. The difference between external control vs. intrinsic motivation
    • We want our kids to learn how to control themselves instead of controlling their behavior through fear, force, bribery & rewards
    • Time-outs don’t teach kids how to calm down, they just force them to do it
    • As parents, we have the opportunity to empower our kids to calm themselves down & learn to take care of themselves on their own
  2. How to implement self-calming breaks in our homes & take a break from time-outs
    1. During a relaxed time, teach your kids that they are learning! They are learning how to feel & how to get their needs met.
      • First, talk about what each of the 5 main emotions feel like – happy, sad, scared, hurt, mad
      • Then, explain that sometimes they may not know what to do when their emotions feel big
      • Finally, remind them that they may need help communicating in order to get their needs met
    2. Create a calming chart or kit for everyone in the family with a list or actual items that help each member of the family calm down & take care of him/herself
      • Kids should be in charge of what goes into their calming kit (within reason!)
    3. If you receive push-back, give your kiddo a choice – “Do you want to grab your calming bag on your own, or would you like me to come with you?”
  3. The importance of modeling
    • Kids will learn better if you show them first – they won’t always listen to what you say, but they will always watch what you do
    • Remember that positive, sustainable change takes time

Mentioned in this Episode:


Raising A Strong Willed, Intense or Sensitive Child? If yes, I have a FREE gift for you!

This free bundle comes with an extensive learning guide & FREE workshop with me, where I’ll teach you ways to build connection & methods to work WITH your strong willed kids instead of trying to MAKE THEM change. 

Inside this FREE learning bundle I’ll teach you:
*Firm & kind strategies to navigate challenging behavior with firm kindness & connection (vs. fear, force, yelling, threats & bribery)
*Ways to build connection instead of pushing your child away w/ heavy handed “hand me down parenting tactics”
*How to work WITH your kids instead of forcing them to comply or trying to MAKE them change


Click here to grab your free bundle now & start learning today!

If you have a question, comment or a suggestion about today’s episode, or the podcast in general, send me an email at [email protected] or connect with me over on Facebook @freshstartfamily & Instagram @freshstartwendy.

 

Learn more about how Positive Parenting Curriculum can transform your life through the Fresh Start Family Expereince.

Want to see what Positive Parenting looks like #IRL? I love to stay active on both Instagram & Facebook, giving you guys a glimpse into my real family life!