On today’s episode, Wendy hosts solo & covers the idea of punishment mindset & how to escape from it. Punishment is rooted in past mistakes, retribution, vengeance, and payback. In contrast, discipline is rooted in teaching, education, empowerment, and future behaviors. Important life lessons are better taught through compassionate discipline vs. punishment
Whether families are new to positive parenting or have been practicing this lifestyle for awhile, the mindset of punishing our kids’ misbehavior can be challenging to break. Today Wendy shares 5 ways to refocus on compassionate discipline, which is always more effective, long term, & connecting than punishment.
5 Ways to Escape Punishment Mindset:
- Commit to focusing on the future vs. staying stuck in the past:
- Plan for your ideal future, look towards the light, and decide to focus on that – then share that mindset with your children
- Children respond better when parents use encouragement vs. shame
- Talk about the future instead of focusing on the past: what we want, the dream we have for our family, etc.
- Ask yourself: What do I want my kids to learn from how I teach them?:
- As parents, it’s our job to teach our kids important life skills, not simply punish them when we don’t like how they are behaving
- Life skills are best taught through modeling & intentional teaching
- Proximity to others:
- Who am I surrounding myself with?
- What books on this topic am I reading?
- Do I have a mentor who can guide me to use compassionate discipline instead of punishment in my family?
- Discipline your mind with new verbiage:
- Instead of “stop it” we instruct our kids on “how to” do things differently
- Saying “I’m just can’t” or “I’m done” is telling yourself a false story of being an incapable parent; instead try saying “This is challenging AND I’ve got this” or “This is a big task” or “I’m feeling triggered right now”
- Take a break from believing “She’s never going to learn a lesson unless she pays a price”; instead try saying, “My child needs to be taught a life skill” or “My child needs support AND I’m capable to teach her”
- Trust Your Intent:
- Be confident in knowing that by paving your own path, you are respecting your parents – no matter how you were raised
- It’s a blessing to make our own decisions on how to parent and then to teach that to our children
Mentioned in this Episode:
- Fresh Start Family Online
- Fresh Start Experience – parenting education & support program
- FSF’s Shop Page – Wendy’s Positive Parenting Book Recommendations
- Brene Brown’s Call to Courage Special on Netflix
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